Why the hell does the internet need yet another blog?
Let’s start with the fact that… I’m pregnant! And can I tell you, being pregnant is so f’ing weird. I’m one of the first of my friends to get pregnant and since I’m the oldest child in my family, I truly did not know what to expect on all fronts (still don’t!). But let me tell you – it’s weird, it’s wild and apparently it’s filled with lots of dumplings. Baby G (who is a boy!) is coming May 2020.
So, let’s just say I’m truly the most clueless human when it comes to having a baby – I’m in a bunch of Facebook groups (my guilty pleasure – let me be), and some of the questions that these moms-to-be ask aren’t even remotely on my radar. Like, I’m currently too busy thinking about what excuse I can make to not go to the gym to think about the actual arrival of this babe.
I don’t really want to read books because I generally like to (strategically) wing it in all things in life, and that has worked for 28 years so why start driving myself crazy with how-to books now, ya know? I just know nothing will go to plan, so why set crazy expectations for myself when this is my first child?
That being said – I feel like there is no f’ing blogger or influencer (besides Lauryn of The Skinny Confidential) that I can remotely relate to at this point in life. I mean, I follow some amazing women and moms on IG who keep it very real (like Cristina of @baebeemama), but I’m so sick of seeing influencers dressing up their kids in freakishly styled outfits with signs marking their weekly birthdays alongside their favorite and least things to do of that week.
We get it – your child does not like a cold wipe being used on them at eight weeks old, but who the hell would? And how the F are you posing in lingerie six months after having a child? And am I really supposed to be able to wrap my brain around spending $1,800 on a chrome and leather high chair!?
Hm, maybe that’s why I’m addicted to Facebook groups: real women giving each other advice and recommendations. Turns out, I have yet to see someone insisting that her motherhood must-have has been a Dior Book Tote that she can stuff with diapers.
I mean – I want to be an attentive, loving, caring, nurturing, hot, fun, cool, stylish mom, but c’mon – we have to be real here, no?
So I’m creating my own space to break it all down with no censorship or filters, and selfishly, be a time machine for myself when I want to look back at where I am in life.
Sure, I could keep a diary, but I’m on a computer all day and a full-fledged millennial: My hand cramps up when I write more than three sentences at a time. And anyway, I keep getting asked all of the questions from friends and acquaintances who are either thinking about getting pregnant, or are just nosy AF, and as someone who doesn’t really have any shame giving answers, here we are.
Besides being a first-time soon-to-be-mom, I work in the beauty industry, have a shopping problem (but won’t spend over $100 on anything), just left my city life behind for the suburbs in spring 2019, love to travel, love to read, and am usually all about living a balanced lifestyle filled with health and wellness… except for the fact that I’ve been on a strict diet of dumplings, cereal and eggplant parm (?!) for the past five months.
Working in the industry I’m in, I’ve spent the past few years feeling frustrated with most content creators who don’t pull back the curtain to show that everything isn’t just glossy glossy glossy all the time. And no, your singular post with mascara running down your face with a caption about how you’ve had a bad day doesn’t constitute being real!
I’m here to be unfiltered and blunt, have an opinion (and give it to you), and dispel the idea of it all being glossy… but believing wholeheartedly that it can be mostly glossy.
